I thought about starting up another Twitter page for sexual purity devotions for the men I work with with those issues. That might be useful. Have to think about that.

Anyway, I feel a blog overhaul coming on. Just need the time. It seems that millions have left the blog life for the more easily accessible Facebook to display their lives on. I’m going to keep it here. Call me “olde skool.” Whatever.

READY TO FLY!

There we go!!!

A mere year or two ago I was designing international computer network infrastructures for a global corporate enterprise over which I deployed high definition video conferencing on wall-sized plasma screens and jetted about coordinating installations all over the world. It was fun… yet I sometimes wanted to quit it all and just paint, or whittle away on my poetry and live outdoors. Sometimes I would go to the store and I’d look at the cashier and envy their job. Sure, it paid less, but the routine seemed so comforting, the familiarity, the relative predictability sounded refreshing compared to my constant high-demand frenzy of throwing myself into problem after challenge that I had no idea how to solve going into them. That is why they liked me. I was the guy who’d bang his head on the wall until a solution was figured out. Sometimes that creative process was way cool and lots of fun, but a lot of the time I got tired of flying by the seat of my pants. Somehow it always worked out, but sustained high-pressure technical creativity can wear you down too. I know the working-class folks I envied had a less-than-ideal existence too. It’s all relative, right? I’ve paid my dues as a shift-worker and laborer. I know what I am talking about. And now… I’m getting what I wished for in some way. I’m unemployed now. And although I’ve had to go through some withdrawals after weaning off the breast of the corporate world, I’m breathing nicely now and really enjoying being with my family and being forced to apply my time to ideas of enterprise. I tell you honestly, I would have bought an RV already. Who knows, maybe we still will. The wife is not opposed. She is just smarter with money and less impulsive than I.

I’ve always had this pendulous tendency in my interests and passions. I get really excited about something and start taking it to the extreme, and then I reach a saturation point and revolt against it and go the opposite way. My wife knows this about me. Keeping centered is a very important discipline for me. Euphoric enthusiasm and drive followed by doubting and curtailing and depression. That’s me sometimes. It’s kind of funny to me that I was always the one with the level head at the workplace when everything seemed to be going down in flames. Strange how that works.

I keep applying for jobs and I’m somehow not excited to work in the corporate world again. Something draws me to it, though… the money, the familiarity somehow, the illusion of security you have chiseling away your paychecks, 401K and whatever there in your office/cubicle, waiting for 5 o’clock and the weekend to come. Wait a minute… nevermind. I don’t miss any of that. The money, sure. But you simply trade one kind of riches for another. I think I like the ones I have right now. I’m not saying that I won’t go work somewhere again. I don’t really know. One day at a time. But if an international position opens up, I’m jumping at it. Or else desperation will drive us to an RV lifeboat. Either way I’m looking forward to what’s going to happen. We’re ready for something radical.